Abortions Aren't So Bad

If you have read this blog before, you might have noticed I don't think very highly of humans. So naturally, I have a shitty opinion of children. They're loud, disrespectful, and they never have anything interesting to say. Anybody that has kids will probably tell you differently, of course, but when you compare the amount of money, time, and emotion spent on children versus the literal day spent on an abortion, the latter might start to look at least a little appealing.

I don't know all the facts, but I'll start with some basic knowledge. At a clinic, an abortion runs around $350, while a physician will charge around $500 for the cut-snip-plop. Prenatal visits, however, cumulatively add up to about $2000, and that's not even including the cost of gas, maternity clothes, and baby shit you need to buy to get prepared for your little joy. Mmmm, this is where it gets exciting. When the day comes where the little life-sucker is finally ready to suck on your tits as opposed to your innards, you (usually) will go to the hospital.

Dependent upon individual health care insurance, your visit and subsequent stay will earn you a bill of, on average, around $9000 for a regular old vaginal birth. Just to push out that baby as God intended, in a safe, comfortable environment, you're doling out nearly a grand. So, let's reflect.

Abortion=$500 at most
Baby (at birth)=$2000 + $450 (for expenses like gas, furniture, clothes, etc.) + $9000 = $11,450

The numbers don't lie. They might make you sad, but they are somewhat honest. Unlike those fuckers that ask me, "Hey, Alexis, are you going to have kids?"

"Why no, dear coworker. I choose not to."

"Oh, you'll change your mind. You're young."

"Thanks for the input, you self-righteous cunt. Just because you had a baby on accident doesn't mean I will."

"You're welcome!"

Don't try anything, kid. I don't have any room for your shit.

Just your friendly PSA to not pollute the earth with your gross post-coital slop! :)